Cup draw results

Cannestan Combi Cup
Cannestan Combi Cup fever takes hold

Teams have been drawn for the group stages of this season’s Cannestan Combi Cup, the oldest and most prestigious tournament contest in Kenna history.

With 19 entrants, this season’s group stage sees group D teams only having to play three matches. In all the other groups teams will play four.

The top two teams from each group will progress to a two-leg, knock-out stage, to be drawn at the Feburary window.

League points difference over the group fixtures will decide who progresses in the event of being level on cup points in the group.

Simple.

Cup dates will be announced soon.

Group A

Thieving Magpies

Lokomotiv Leeds

Young Boys of Kilburn

Hairy Fadjeetas

Vasco De Beauvoir

Group B

Just Put Carles

Polonia Forsyth

Bala Rinas

Headless Chickens

Newington Reds

Group C

Superfuzz

PSV Mornington

Dynamo Charlton

Spartak Mogadishu

The Dan Terry Seduction

Group D

Judean Peoples’ Front

FC Testiculadew

Pikey Scum

Lurliners

Cup rules

Over the next three months teams will be will be pitched against each other in pre-selected weeks.

Whoever picks up the most points in that week will earn three cup points. Teams scoring an equal amount will get one a piece.

There are no points for a loss.

Teams equal on cup points at the end of the group stages will be decided on league points difference.

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Window smashes records

Smashed
Window: smashed

More Kenna records were left as smashed as the managers last night as the transfer window attracted 14 bidders.

In a pressure-cooker atmosphere behind some thick curtains in the upstairs of a Piccadilly pub, 13 managers packed in for business.

The Thieving Magpies manager offered some applied phone bidding. Kevin Doyle and Gabriel Obertan were his reward.

Colonel Gaddafi and Vincent Tabak sadly couldn’t make it.

League leaders FC Testiculadew (pronounced ‘Test-ick-you-lah-joo’, didn’t you know?) picked up in form attacker Juan Mata for £31m, much to the concern of those present.

Emmanuel Adebayor attracted the biggest price tag as the Pikey Scum boss recovered from his night inside to stump up £43m.

“An excellent evening and well attended,” said the Chairman. “Managers should remember that their new players will only start to score points from next weekend.

“Those not present who needed players can be assured there was an open and transparent process to fill the gaps in their teams.”

Full details, and the results of the Cannestan Combi Cup draw, will be published soon.

Top five most expensive window signings

  1. Emmanuel Adebayor – £43m (Pikey Scum)
  2. Juan Mata – £31m (FC Testiculadew)
  3. Gabby Agbonlahor – £22m (Bala Rinas)
  4. Phil Jones – £22m (Newington Reds)
  5. Leon Best – £16m (Headless Chickens)
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