The second rule in particular makes the Olisadebe ultimately challenging. Buying a bottom-drawer player from a top team is folly.
Going around the table, each gaffer takes it in turns to introduce a player to the bidding. The auction ends when every team is filled.
The Olisadebe ‘Brambles’ will be announced next week.
What experience tells us
Looking below at the top performers from the last international tournament, the Doctor Khumalo 2010 World Cup, the immediate thought is: what the bejabbers was someone up to spending £31.5m on a holding midfielder like Schweinsteiger?
During a domestic season, steady Eddies like Bastian ‘Pig-overseer’, making regular appearances and nicking the odd goal can be useful.
But in tournament football, where an absolute maximum of six games awaits, the only successful midfielders are those scoring just as many goals as their striking counterparts (Wesley Sneijder).
Forwards regularly finding the net and back fives from organised teams picking up clean sheets offer the best return on investment.
Creative wing backs getting assists and goals, while their side keeps clean sheets, are a handy addition.
The second thing you’ll notice from the table is that some household names went for chicken feed. There are three reasons for this:
all the other managers had bought their quota from that country (Iker Casillas)
those at the auction simply hadn’t considered that player of value (Thomas Muller)
the player had initially been bought for a large sum, forfeited through the Titus Bramble Ruling and bought on the cheap later in the evening (David Villa)
Top European’s from the 2010 Khumalo World Cup in South Africa
LONG. Hard. Ending with a gooey substance on the face.
For two other managers, the Polonia Forsyth boss’s experiences echo the Kenna season.
Guaranteeing her place in the relegation zone with one week left to go, the Polonia boss faces being blackballed by the club board – a term she previously associated with an alternative warm-up exercise developed with Mario Balotelli.
Sadly, unless the ‘madcap’ Italian produces the performance of his life this weekend, the Polonia gaffer faces a similar fate to the Thieving Magpies manager.
The August titular fiasco perhaps a sign of the calamity to come, a summons to the Rochdale grooming trial has made the Seduction manager’s position untenable.
“But I didn’t know they wanted the pills for that,” he pleaded.
Meanwhile, FC Testiculadew march on towards their first Kenna league title.
FCT need to score 65 points this week to break the most-points-scored-in-a-season record, set by Vasco De Beauvoir in the inaugural Kenna 2005/06 season.
They could also scoop the second ever Kenna double by beating Pavel Pogrebnyak’s Headless Chickens in the Cannestan Combi Cup final on Sunday.
Vasco De Beauvoir won the first ever double in the 2009/10 season, before their manager went on to lift the 2010 Khumalo World Cup.
A preview of the cup final will be published later in the week.