fantasy football – Page 19 – The Jeff Kenna League

Mass doping rumours mar Kharine auction

SEVERAL managers tested positive for banned substances at the Dmitri Kharine World Cup auction last Tuesday to put the outcome of the competition into doubt.

FC Testiculadewland took the lead after the first round of matches courtesy of Cristiano Ronaldo (17 points), Aleksander Kolorov (12) and Diego Costa (12), but the World Anti-Doping Agency is investigating reports most Kharine managers failed a urine test.

The Kenna League vice-chairman had organised the auction for the first time and in unprecedented scenes produced a collection of test tubes filled with a yellow liquid.

Over the course of the evening it emerged several managers were competing under the influence of performance ‘enhancing’ drugs, countless pints of lager and shots of Beluga vodka.

Until the Wada investigation is complete, the Kharine is forging ahead with the group stages.

FC Testiculadewland’s bitter rivals I Knew Sterling Would F*ck It Up lie six points off the lead in second thanks to Romelu Lukaku (12), Jose Giminez (12) and Simon Kjaer (7).

Remote bidder the Pikov Scuminov manager is some way adrift in third after solid performances from Dries Mertens (7), Antoine Greizmann (7), Diego Godin (7) and Kasper Schmeichel (7).

Kharine standings – after first round of matches

Full scores available from The Rub.

kharine - round one - 19 June 2018 — Kharine – round one – 19 June 2018

FC Testiculadewland

Pickford, J	ENG	£ 5.00
Rojo, M	ARG	£ 0.50
Meunier, T	BEL	£ 0.50
Kolarov, A	SRB	£ 0.50
Reus, M	GER	£ 8.00
Willian	BRA	£ 5.00
Lemar, T	FRA	£ 9.00
Dzagoev, A	RUS	£ 3.00
Ronaldo, C	POR	£ 41.00
Lewandowski, R	POL	£ 23.00
Costa, D	ESP	£ 0.50
		£ 96.00

Sporting Lesbians

Mohamedi, M	MOR	£ 0.50
Odriozola, A	ESP	£ 0.50
Rodriguez, R	SUI	£ 0.50
Danilo	BRA	£ 0.50
Rodriguez, J	COL	£ 25.00
Muller, T	GER	£ 30.00
Witsel, A	BEL	£ 0.50
Tolisso, C	FRA	£ 0.50
Cavani, E	URU	£ 20.00
Dybala, P	ARG	£ 17.00
Kane, H	ENG	£ 0.50
		£ 95.50

Putin More Russian Puns

Gallese, P	PER	£ 0.50
Walker, K	ENG	£ 8.00
Carvajal, D	ESP	£ 7.00
Marquinhos	BRA	£ 4.00
Lichtsteiner, S	SUI	£ 1.00
Eriksen, C	DEN	£ 18.00
Hazard, E	BEL	£ 26.00
Draxler, J	GER	£ 5.00
Lo Celso, G	ARG	£ 2.00
Mbappe, K	FRA	£ 25.00
Mandzukic, M	CRO	£ 0.50
		£ 97.00

Lokomotiv Leeds

Akinfeev, I	RUS	£ 2.00
Pepe	POR	£ 7.00
Silva, T	BRA	£ 10.00
Vestergaard, J	DEN	£ 0.50
Mane, S	SEN	£ 16.00
Perisic, I	CRO	£ 15.00
Sigurdsson, G	ICE	£ 8.00
Grosicki, K	POL	£ 1.00
Al-Sahlawi, M	SAU	£ 13.00
Heung-min, S	SKO	£ 13.00
Giroud, O	FRA	£ 13.00
		£ 98.50

Goulash County

Ospina, D	COL	£ 6.00
Boateng, J	GER	£ 27.00
Hakimi, A	MOR	£ 2.00
Rose, D	ENG	£ 4.00
Vida, D	CRO	£ 3.00
Xhaka, G	SUI	£ 0.50
Ndidi, W	NGA	£ 0.50
Tapia, R	PER	£ 0.50
Neymar	BRA	£ 24.00
Salah, M	EGY	£ 24.00
Gomez, M	URU	£ 0.50
		£ 92.00

Young Bolsheviks

Gomis, A	SEN	£ 0.50
Alderweireld, T	BEL	£ 14.00
Trippier, K	ENG	£ 8.00
Alba, J	ESP	£ 10.00
Kimmich, J	GER	£ 13.00
Umtiti, S	FRA	£ 5.00
Augusto, R	BRA	£ 0.50
De Arrascaeta, G	URU	£ 0.50
Ruiz, B	COS	£ 0.50
Baccas, C	COL	£ 0.50
Aguero, S	ARG	£ 40.00
		£ 92.50

I Knew Sterling Would F*ck It Up

Alisson	BRA	£ 2.00
Gimenez, J	URU	£ 6.00
Strinic, I	CRO	£ 4.00
Kjaer, S	DEN	£ 3.00
Tadic, D	SRB	£ 13.00
di Maria, A	ARG	£ 9.00
Shaqiri, X	SUI	£ 5.00
Silva, B	POR	£ 0.50
Lukaku, R	BEL	£ 33.00
Rashford, M	ENG	£ 10.00
Dembele, O	FRA	£ 10.00
		£ 95.50

No Hay Fiesta Sin Iniesta

Romero, S	ARG	£ 10.00
Kompany, V	BEL	£ 17.00
Kudryashov, F	RUS	£ 3.00
Caceres, M	URU	£ 2.00
Matuidi, B	FRA	£ 13.00
Coutinho, P	BRA	£ 27.00
Modric, L	CRO	£ 13.00
Marquez, R	MEX	£ 0.50
Henderson, J	ENG	£ 2.00
Aspas, I	ESP	£ 2.00
Gomez, M	GER	£ 0.50
		£ 90.00

The Breivik Babes

Lloris, H	FRA	£ 17.00
Hummels, M	GER	£ 17.00
Djourou, J	SUI	£ 0.50
Lovren, D	CRO	£ 1.00
Alves, B	POR	£ 2.00
de Bruyne, K	BEL	£ 31.00
Silva, D	ESP	£ 20.00
Fred	BRA	£ 0.50
Mitrovic, A	SRB	£ 4.00
Hernandez, J	MEX	£ 2.00
Icardi, M	ARG	£ 0.50
		£ 95.50