man city – The Jeff Kenna League

A MASSIVE COCK up has forced Kenna HQ to accept responsibility over defender Fabio playing for two teams at the same time last weekend.

The Brazilian lost both Lokomotiv Leeds and PSV Mornington three points each, as five goals went past him at the Liberty Stadium.

A controversial procedure for resolving the matter will now ensue. On the back of last week’s James Collins fiasco, Kenna HQ’s ability to run a well-governed league has been called into question.

“What can I say? There’s been a balls up,” shrugged the Chairman, scrolling through his phone contacts for the Charts and Graphs department.

Under precedent, Fabio would remain at PSV as the club paid a higher fee (£5m, compared to Lokomotiv’s £0.5m).

Lokomotiv would be awarded the next available defender going down the player list. The next four of which are mostly of respectable quality: Chris Smalling, Per Mertesacker, Steven Caulker and Aleksander Kolorov.

The Chairman said: “However, Lokomotiv already has players from Manchester United, Arsenal, Spurs and City. Therefore, Lokomotiv’s new defender should be Wigan’s Gary Caldwell. Fabio’s score [-3] will be wiped and replaced with Caldwell’s [0].

“There is an appeal process, which is handled by the Manager Experiences department. We are yet to hear from either manager involved.”

Fulham v Man City — Fulham make a rare first-half appearance in the City area

The Vasco De Beauvoir boss was tempted to do his own ‘Poznan’ in the Johnny Haynes stand as Sergio Aguero (12 points) added to his remarkable string of performances.

The Argentine striker was ably assisted by Just Put Carles‘ Silva (5 points) and FC Testiculadew‘s Dzeko (5 points).

Fulham players looked incapable of picking up any points in the first hour, as they kept tight and let City stroke the ball around in their half.

However, after that JPC picked up a Zamora goal (7 points) and PSV Mornington celebrated a Danny Murphy strike in the 75th minute (7 points).

Young Boys (Kompany), Thieving Magpies (Lescott), Pikey Scum (Richards), Headless Chickens (Clichy) and the club formally known as The Dan Terry Seduction (Hart) will all be thoroughly annoyed that they failed to pick up six points for a clean sheet.

In what must be a Kenna first, all the players booked (Sidwell and Barry) were unsigned.

Tag: man city

League admits Fabio ‘balls up’

Fulham 2 – 2 Man City