Wandsworth Window Lickers

Manager: Will (Worcestershire)

Twitter name: @chainfir3

Since: 2010

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2010/11)

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Darts music: Mary Jane – Rick James

Outlook: Not even 221B could say why the Wandsworth boss introduced and bought Jamie Carragher at last week’s auction, but with the exception of that mystery and Josh McEachran’s announcement he’s going on loan to Boro, the opening week of the season is treating the manager well with goals from Nasri and Odemwingie and clean sheets from O’Shea and Szczesny.

(B) = player awarded under the Titus Brambling ruling

Szczesny, W ARS £19m
Clyne, N SOT £6m
Assou-Ekotto, B TOT £7m
O’Shea, J SUN £5.5m
Ben Haim, T QPR £10m
Fellaini, M EVE £9m
Young, A MUN £15m
Assaidi, O LIV £0.5m
Nasri, S MCY £15m
Odemwingie, P WBA £6m
Gouffran, Y NEW £5m
 Total £98m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Herd, C AVL £0.5m Ben Haim, T QPR £10m
Obertan, G (B) NEW £0.5m Assaidi, O LIV £0.5m
Zamora, B QPR £2m Gouffran, Y NEW £5m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Carragher, J LIV £0.5m Herd, C AVL £0.5m
McEachran, J (B) CHE £9m Obertan, G (B) NEW £0.5m
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FC Testiculadew (second window)

FC Testiculadew made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr James Norris (ENG)

Since: 2011

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Everton

Szczesny, W ARS £2m
Kaboul, Y TOT £5.5m
O’Shea, J SUN £5.5m
Shorey, N WBA £0.5m
Clark, C AVL £0.5m
Mata, J CHE £31m
Dempsey, C FUL £5.5m
Fellaini, M EVE £4.5m
W-Phillips, S QPR £8m
Rooney, W MUN £28m
Dzeko, E MCY £5.5m
£96.5m
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Mouldy Balls!

Donkey
Edin Dzeko struggles to shake his marker

Even with Rooney and Dzeko doing their best Shrek and Donkey impression up front, FC Testiculadew dominate the Kenna.

The club now enjoy an 82-point lead atop the league.

Attacking midfielder Clint Dempsey was the hip hop superstar a fortnight past.

‘Deuce’ the goal robot popped up again with another player-of-week hat-trick.

Two assists from Shaun Wright-Phillips, one from Marouane Fellaini and a John O’Shea clean sheet completed the rout.

“I’ve put off this kind of talk so far, but now I’ve got one hand on that tax-free prize money come May,” said the FCT boss, or ‘Monsieur Pickles Quarte-vingts’ as he’s known at the gaming tables of the principality.

Weekly scores - 24 January 2012
Weekly scores - 24 January 2012

 

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