premier league – Page 47 – The Jeff Kenna League

Piedmonte 2013/14

England till he dies: The Piedmonte manager

Manager: Phil (Wolverhampton)

Twitter name: @PhillyD55

Since: 2005 (co-founder)

Last season: 4th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – 2nd in 2006/07)

Sympathies: Notts County

Darts music: The Great Escape – the England Band

Outlook (on 19 September): Commitments on the south coast meant the Piedmonte manager was unable to attend last month’s auction in person. Instead he joined proceedings by Skype over three hours into the bidding. Unenviable, considering this would be his ninth tilt at the Kenna hindered by an unhealthy preoccupation with signing English players. As such his trophy cabinet’s emptier than a pint of Carling is of flavour. He joins the Newington Reds manager on dismal figures of just two podium finishes in eight seasons.

Removed from the absurdity of The Roebuck’s upstairs bar, the Piedmonte manager appears to have overcome his prejudice, buying just five players who hail from the green and pleasant land, although how pleasant the changing rooms will be after a mid-match visit from Jason Puncheon is up for debate. The rest of the team is made up of a German, a Welshman, a Norwegian, a Frenchman, a Togolese and an Irishman. The manager must be asking himself if all these Johnny Foreigners be able to play in a rigid 4-4-2 system reliant on long ball? Or will they just be a bad, uncoordinated, out-of-tune joke?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjVd54E2e_U&w=420&h=315]

Krul, T	NEW	£9m
Jagielka, P	EVE	£17m
Davies, B	SWA	£7m
Jones, P	MUN	£17m
Hangeland, B	FUL	£10m
Gerrard, S	LIV	£10m
Noble, M	WHM	£7.5m
Townsend, A	TOT	£1.5m
Puncheon, J	CRY	£3m
Long, S	HUL	£5m
Odemwingie, P	STO	£5m
		£92m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £8m, remaining budget: £7.5m, net loss: £0.5m

(Hyperlink denotes from which club player was bought)

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Paid
STR	Adebayor, E	TOT	Free	STR	Walters, J	STO	£0.5m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Position	Player	Team	Sold	Position	Player	Team	Paid
MID	Nasri, S	MCY	£2m	MID	Townsend, A	TOT	£1.5m
STR	Walters, J	STO	£0.5m	STR	Odemwingie, P	STO	£5m

Rambo bounces back

Rambo lunchbox — Box to box: Aaron ‘Rambo’ Ramsey, unsigned by Kenna managers, was player of the week (photo courtesy of Sveden)

THE CAMOUFLAGED Genoa youth coach may have been likened to a fictional Vietnam War veteran this week when he was caught in a bush spying on a Sampdoria training session, but he’s not the only Rambo making an assault on the football headlines.

It wasn’t so long ago that Aaron Ramsey goals were so infrequent that every time he scored it was mockingly linked to a high-profile death.

The Twitter Users Obvious Jokes Club has been left scrabbling around the obituary columns over the last month as the Welshman’s goal scoring touch transformed from occasional sniper rifle to Syrian chemical weapon.

So convincing is his resurrection, there’s even a bandwagon swelling with passengers who claim Ramsey is better than Jack Wilshere. The injury-prone Englishman, who is yet to score or make an assist, was bought for £23m by Judean Peoples’ Front.

Another player to come in from the cold of indifferent Kenna form is Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Icelandic midfielder scored twice on Saturday as his Headless Chickens teammates Michu, Craig Gardner and Gareth McAuley also struck to help their team to the top of the Kenna for the first time since entering the league.

Aaron Ramsey joins nearly-namesake Aron Gunarsson, Jose Fonte, Frazier Campbell, Steven Whittaker, Peter Whittingham and Nathan Redmond as over-performing players left unsigned by Kenna managers at last month’s auction.

Come October’s transfer window they will all be in high demand as managers look to the sparse talent available to improve their sides.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9IetxqXGm4&w=420&h=315]

Kenna table

Weekly scores

		Manager	Points	Goals
1	Headless Chickens	John N	46	5
2	Dynamo Charlton	Alex	42	1
3	Team Panda Rules OK	George	34	1
4	Sporting Lesbian	Ben M	34	0
5	Judean Peoples Front	Sholto	32	1
6	FC Testiculadew	James N	28	2
7	Hairy Fadjeetas	Aiden	25	1
8	Pikey Scum	Jack	25	1
9	St. Reatham FC	Mike	23	1
10	Lurliners	Luke	23	0
11	Bala Rinas	Lewis	21	0
12	Lokomotiv Leeds	Ben S	19	0
13	Newington Reds	Dudley	19	0
14	Still Don’t Know Yet	Pete	18	1
15	Northern Monkeys	Hugo	18	0
16	Just put Carles	Carles	16	0
17	Piedmonte	Phil	16	0
18	Spartak Mogadishu	Abdi	16	0
19	Young Boys	Denney	15	0
20	Rapids De Cullons CF	Jorge	13	0
21	KS West Green	Stix	11	0
22	This is Sparta…Prague	Rich	9	0
23	PSV Mornington	El Pons	5	0

		Points	Player
	Player of the week	12	Ramsey, A – ARS – MID
		Club	Unsigned

FC Testiculadew 2013/14

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Last season: 2nd

Trophy cabinet: 2011/12 league and cup double

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Imperial March – Star Wars

Outlook (on 16 September 2013): Forty floors below the club’s Itchysack Park training facility, the FC Testiculadew manager mused behind his heavy oak desk. He had won the league and cup double on his first attempt. He’d broken records that year and shown up the rest of them to be the footballing simpletons they were, groping around in dark while his team had run away with the championship. He had created the master stroke of tactical Brambling, buying ineligible players to wilfully accept a forfeit and give himself an advantage by freeing up funds late on in the auction. It was an act everyone else found atrocious. Why? There was no cheating in the world, only winning, no matter what ridiculous code of honour those bungling fools at Kenna HQ tried to uphold. Chivalry doesn’t equal success, cunning equals success and success equals power, and power, true power, was everything.

In May the unthinkable happened: he’d finished second. This was definitely not part of the plan. FCT would have to win this season, and with Benteke and Dzeko on form his team had made a good start. The half a million paid for Juan Mata didn’t quite seem like the bargain it was a month ago, but the rest of the midfield showed promise. He was reasonably satisfied with the defence too, although Debussy’s performances were a worry. The truth was every player was expendable in the hunt for a second title. Very soon they would understand that.

He pulled a tasselled chord next to the desk. There was no sound for a few moments until the door creaked open and an elderly butler entered. “Have they assembled in the sacrificial chamber?” said the manager. The subordinate nodded in assent. “Good, tell them I’ll be there directly.”

The butler left the room. The FCT manager robed himself in a ceremonial cloak and pulled on the hood. It was time.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzntZLHcYy0&w=420&h=315]

Lloris, H	TOT	£0.5m
Debuchy, M	NEW	£5m
Olsson, M	NOR	£0.5m
Sakho, M	LIV	£7m
Azpilicueta, C	CHE	£11m
Mirallas, K	EVE	£13m
Mata, J	MUN	£0.5m
Shelvey, J	SWA	£0.5m
Ozil, M	ARS	£13m
Benteke, C	AVL	£38m
Dzeko, E	MCY	£19m
		£108m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £22,5m, remaining budget: £4.5m, net loss: £18m

(Hyperlink denotes to which club player was sold)

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Value
DEF	Olsson, M	NOR	Free	DEF	Olsson, M	NOR	£0.5m
DEF	Koscielny, L	ARS	£2.5m	DEF	Sakho, M	LIV	£7m
MID	Taarabt, A	FUL	Free	MID	Ozil, M	ARS	£13m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Value
DEF	Rafael	MUN	£11m	DEF	Azpilicueta, C	CHE	£11m

Dulwich Red Sox 2013/14

Manager: Luke (Shropshire)

Twitter name: @Lurliner

Since: 2011

Last season: Did not enter

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 13th in 2011/12)

Sympathies: Liverpool

Darts music: Rat Rapping – Roland Rat (featuring Kevin the Gerbil)

Outlook (on 13 September 2013): There’s something from the hip about the Dulwich Red Sox manager’s approach not just to the Kenna, but to life. Like a whirlwind he entered the competitive arena of last month’s auction – tail up, nose twitching, giving it the Barry – looking to buy any players he liked the sound of to build his smash and grab team. It didn’t work two seasons ago when the manager was in charge of the Lurliners and, like the DRS cricketing namesake, it’s still not the finished solution.

Dimitar Berbatov is one of the best striker’s around, five per cent of the time, and will not reflect his £24m price tag as well as Oscar. Osman’s a steady buy, Milner’s more part-time workhorse than creative show pony and Giggs – how long until age or another failed superinjunction catch up with him? Reid and Lowton are regular starters, but Martin Skrtel’s future hangs in the balance and Thomas Vermaelen is a shade of the former goal-scoring self who came to the Kenna four years ago. Freidel’s one appearance of the season will be on the Match of the Day 2 sofa.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtO7EQrMPdQ&w=420&h=315]

Friedel, B	TOT	£0.5m
Lowton, M	AVL	£8m
Reid, W	WHM	£8.5m
Skrtel, M	LIV	£12m
Vermaelen, T	ARS	£5.5m
Milner, J	MCY	£5m
Osman, L	EVE	£11m
Oscar	CHE	£24m
Giggs, R	MUN	£1m
Berbatov, D	MON	£24m
Fletcher, S	SUN	£0.5m
		£100m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Did not attend. League membership under review.

Hairy Fadjeetas 2013/14

Manager: Aiden (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Last season: 9th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – last season)

Sympathies: Sheffield Wednesday

Darts music: The Vag1na Song

Outlook (on 12 September 2013): With only one Turkey of the Month award to his name, the Hairy Fadjeetas manager still has it all to prove at club level. His most successful efforts have been on the international stage, where he collected a runners up medal in the Dr Khumalo 2010 World Cup, but most notably took charge of the league Twitter account during the Emmanuel Olisadebe 2012 Euros. The chairman has given his word that should the league realise the dream of owning premises in St James’s there will always be a place on the billiard room wall for the resounding description of The Horn of Africa manager throwing in the towel halfway through an auction and the moment 10 minutes later when he picked it up again.

His place on the committee under threat with the swift decline of tweeting entire auctions, the Fadges manager manned the Skype business during last month’s all day bonanza. While administering bids from such exotic climes as Valencia and Bournemouth, for his own team the manager kept it simple and went big on two players already justifying their £30m+ price tag: Robert Soldado and Edin Hazard (league ball boys have been placed on high alert). As for the rest of team, it appears to be a mixture of dwindling roles (Hernandez, Grandin, Gouffran) and plodding performance (Marshall, Turner, Jarvis). Once Nastasic returns from injury, he’ll join Kolo Toure, Ron Vlaar, Soldado and Hazard as the team’s mainstays. Will this be enough to drag the Hairy Fadjeetas manager out of the hall of infame?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMym1gsG_30&w=420&h=315]

Marshall, D	CAR	£3.5m
Vlaar, R	AVL	£5.5m
Turner, M	NOR	£3m
Toure, K	LIV	£6.5m
Nastasic, M	MCY	£0.5m
Jarvis, M	WHM	£7.5m
Hazard, E	CHE	£34m
Gouffran, Y	NEW	£0.5m
Ramsey, A	ARS	£11m
Soldado	TOT	£33m
Hernandez, J	MUN	£1.5m
		£110m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £11m, remaining budget: £0m, net loss: £11m

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Paid
MID	Grandin, E	CRY	Free	MID	Ramsey, A	ARS	£11m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

No changes

Northern Monkeys 2013/14

Manager: Hugo (Tyneside)

Twitter name: @Hugeist

Since: 2012

Last season: 12th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (best finish – last season)

Sympathies: Newcastle

Darts music: Northern Calypso – Hale & Pace

Outlook (on 11 September 2013): Lack of firepower is sure to be the Northern Monkeys manager’s biggest worry this term. Not only does the team start with Titus Bramble forfeit player Emmanuel Mayuka, who’s been farmed out on loan to France, but Victor Anichebe has been knocked down the pecking order with the arrival of new strikers in Merseyside.

There aren’t many more goals in midfield. Marquee signing David Silva tends to enjoy a short purple patch each season, but like Antonio Valencia mainly picks up the odd assist. Since Damien Duff’s over the hill, it’s left to Kevin Nolan to find the net.

In defence it’s a better story. Vorm, Huth, Vertonghen and Mertesacker are regular starters bought for a decent price at auction. All of which leaves plenty in the kitty going into October’s transfer window. The manager will need every penny if he wants to avoid an anonymous mid-table finish for the second consecutive season.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IQem4nRSm4&w=420&h=315]

(B) = player awarded under the Titus Bramble ruling

McGregor, A	HUL	£0.5m
Mertesacker, P	ARS	£6.5m
Vertonghen, J	TOT	£7m
Turner, B	CAR	£0.5m
Williamson, M	NEW	£0.5m
Hazell, S (TB)	BRA	£0.5m
Silva, D	MCY	£26m
Downing, S	WHU	£0.5m
Valencia, A	MUN	£7m
Bornini, F	SUN	£10m
Eto’o, S	CHE	£2m
		£61m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £26m, remaining budget: £9.5m, net loss: £16.5m

(Hyperlink denotes from which club player was bought)

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Value
DEF	Taylor, S	NEW	Free	DEF	Coloccini, F	NEW	£4.5m
STR	Mayuka, E (B)	SCX	Free	STR	Weimann, A	AVL	£10m
STR	Anichebe, V	EVE	Free	STR	Eto’o, S	CHE	£2m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Position	Player	Team	Sold	Position	Player	Team	Paid
GK	Vorm, M	SWA	Free	GK	McGregor, A	HUL	£0.5m
DEF	Huth, R	STO	Free	DEF	Turner, B	CAR	£0.5m
DEF	Coloccini, F	NEW	Free	DEF	Williamson, M	NEW	£0.5m
MID	Duff, D	WBA	Free	MID	Downing, S	WHU	£0.5m
MID	Nolan, K	WHU	Bramble	MID	Hazell, S (TB)	BRA	£0.5m

STR

Weimann, A

AVL

Free

STR

Bornini, F

SUN

£10m

Bala Rinas 2013/14

Manager: Lewis (Wales)

Twitter name: @jsl105

Since: 2007 (committee member – treasurer)

Last season: 13th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – 8th in 2011/12)

Sympathies: Wrexham

Darts music: C.R.E.A.M. – Wu Tang Clan

Outlook (on 10 September 2013): The treasurer has long tried to impose his tactics on the field, but his record is not a rosy one. The second-least successful manager in league history, it took him three seasons in the wilderness to overcome the ignominy of steering The Trinny Men to last place in his debut campaign. Returning at the helm of Bala Rinas in 2011, his team’s performances on the pitch have been eclipsed by his realpolitik at Kenna HQ. Elevation to the league committee in July last year led to fierce criticism from Kenna managers who questioned the appointment’s probity.

Rumours were flying in the build up to August’s auction that the Bala Rinas boss had turned his expansive accountancy skills to squad selection and he’d devised an ingenious balance sheet to identify Kenna-winning talent. The manager’s homework appears to be paying off. In what’s being touted as a Kenna first, all eleven of the Bala Rinas team turned out for the first two competitive weeks of the season.

Another 35 weeks to go and all’s well, but with Paulinho the most expensive player at £17m, will the Bala Rinas manager live to regret his decision not to make some bigger signings? And who will he choose to jettison between Foster and Sessegnon come the October transfer window?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrsfJHLx5YA&w=420&h=315]

Mannone, V	SUN	£0.5m
Monreal, N	ARS	£8m
Shaw, L	SOT	£5.5m
Collins, J	WHM	£0.5m
Heitinga, J	FUL	£2.5m
Fellaini, M	MUN	£0.5m
Nasri, S	MCY	£2m
Sissoko, M	NEW	£10m
Paulinho	TOT	£17m
Chamakh, M	CRY	£14m
Lukaku, R	EVE	£3m
		£63.5m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £6m, remaining budget: £6m, net profit/loss: broken even

(Hyperlink denotes club to which player was sold)

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Value
GK	Foster, B	WBA	£0.5m	GK	Stockdale, D	FUL	£0.5m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Position	Player	Team	Sold	Position	Player	Team	Paid
GK	Stockdale, D	FUL	Free	GK	Mannone, V	SUN	£0.5m
DEF	Luna, A	AVL	Free	DEF	Monreal, N	ARS	£8m
DEF	Agger, D	LIV	£5m	DEF	Heitinga, J	FUL	£2.5m
MID	Sessegnon, S	WBA	Free	MID	Fellaini, M	MUN	£0.5m
MID	Routledge, W	SWA	£1m	MID	Nasri, S	MCY	£2m

STR

Chamakh, M

CRY

£14m

Team Panda Rules OK 2013/14

Manager: George (Bromley)

Since: Debut

Sympathies: Millwall

Darts music: True Love Ways – Buddy Holly

Outlook (on 4 September 2013): The debut of the Team Panda Rules OK manager brings a raw south east England edge to the league. Known around the club as ‘The Panda’, the gaffer shares little in common with the soon-to-be-extinct bundle of joy at Edinburgh Zoo. His origins and accent more readily liken the Bromley man to an extra from hit TV show The Inbetweeners, a link cemented when he once revealed he actually went on a school geography field trip to Swanage. He maintains rumours he punched a fish and asked a pensioner at an ice cream stand whether she wanted to suck him off are purely here say.

The form of Olivier Giroud will settle the nerves of the team, even if Kane’s inactivity does the opposite. The Panda will be closely tracking Gareth Barry’s progress now the midfielder’s move to Merseyside means a choice between releasing him or Distin come the October transfer window. The rest of the side literally contains a couple of Johnsons.

With just one substitute appearance, Nani really is living up to the notion that he’s just a not very good Michael Jackson.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X21mJh6j9i4&w=420&h=315]

Under Kenna rules, the manager must release one of the players in red at the next transfer window.

Begovic, A	STO	£7m
O’Shea, J	SUN	£11m
Lovren, D	SOT	£8.5m
Distin, S	EVE	£14m
Johnson, G	LIV	£17m
Kasami, P	FUL	£0.5m
Brunt, C	WBA	£7m
Johnson, B	NOR	£8m
Bacuna, L	AVL	£0.5m
Giroud, O	ARS	£20m
Campbell, F	CAR	£11m
		£104m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £11m, remaining budget: £0m, net loss: £11m

(Hyperlink denotes to which club player was sold)

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Paid
MID	Barry, G	EVE	£0.5m	MID	Kasami, P	FUL	£0.5m
STR	Kane, H	TOT	Free	STR	Campbell, F	CAR	£11m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Pos	Player	Team	Sold	Pos	Player	Team	Paid
MID	Nani	MUN	£0.5m	MID	Bacuna, L	AVL	£0.5m

Just Put Carles 2013/14

Manager: Carles (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @cduzpalau

Since: 2010

Last season: 5th

Trophy cabinet: Empty (highest league position – last season)

Sympathies: FC Barcelona

Darts music: Cant del Barca

Outlook (on 4 September): The Just Put Carles boss is one of a trio of Catalans in the Kenna who not in their wildest childhood dreams could have imagined emigration to the UK would end in competing at the game’s highest level. Overcoming his birth in the relative football backwater of the Costa Brava, last season the JPC boss became the Kenna’s most successful foreign manager in the league’s history by finishing in fifth position. Achievement earned the curiosity of his girlfriend, who attended last month’s auction to see for herself just what all the fuss was about. No doubt she was made to regret her decision when the new auction wildcards were unveiled.

Unlike his fellow conquistadores, the JPC manager chose to avoid the tactic of just signing Hispanic players. While Rapids de Cullons CF have five and PSV Mornington have seven, JPC boasts just Angel Rangel – an established starter who will play in defence alongside Guy Demel, Andy Wilkinson and Chris Smalling, in front of goalkeeper Tim Howard. Fernandinho, Dembele, Kacaniklic and Henderson all appear to be getting game time this campaign. Only Ba and Sanogo up front look like bench warmers.

Crucially, the manager takes £13m into the first transfer window in October, making JPC the fourth richest club in the league.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChFJOYO622Y&w=420&h=315]

Howard, T	EVE	£9m
Smalling, C	MUN	£1m
Rosenior, L	HUL	£2m
Rangel, A	SWA	£5m
Demel, G	WHM	£2.5m
Mutch, J	CAR	£5.5m
Fernandinho	MCY	£30m
Colback, J	SUN	£0.5m
Henderson, J	LIV	£0.5m
Walters, J	STO	£0.5m
Ameobi, Sh	NEW	£0.5m
		£57m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Did not attend. League membership under review.

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out				In
Position	Player	Team	Sold	Position	Player	Team	Paid
DEF	Wilkinson, A	STO	Free	DEF	Rosenior, L	HUL	£2m
MID	Dembele, M	TOT	Free	MID	Mutch, J	CAR	£5.5m
MID	Kacanilkic, A	FUL	Free	MID	Colback, J	SUN	£0.5m
STR	Ba, D	CHE	Free	STR	Walters, J	STO	£0.5m
STR	Sanogo, Y	ARS	Free	STR	Ameobi, Sh	NEW	£2m

Simmering Sporting take August honours

Lesbians — Getting it on: Defending champions Sporting Lesbian start as they mean to continue (photo courtesy of MatchHerpes.com)

IN MANY ways the Kenna is a carbon copy of the Champions League. Football’s most talented managers locked in a high stakes tactical battle, scrutiny from fans and media across the globe, the thought of premium lager never far away.

The two competitive arenas share one other inescapable comparison – no manager has ever won twice on the bounce.

So it’s with great interest that everyone is watching the indomitable progress of Sporting Lesbian.

The defending champions, who won the Kenna so convincingly in May, are right back on top of the table after three competitive weeks of the season.

Podolski, Giaccherini, Wilson, Coloccini, Coleman and de Gea are all, like Mick Philpott in hero mode, setting the place on fire. Goals, assists and clean sheets are flooding in. And Stevan Jovetic hasn’t even played yet.

The omens bode well for the Sporting boss, in the last three seasons the winner of August’s MOTM award has gone on the take the title.

Things don’t look so rosy for Still Don’t Know Yet. In four of the eight Kenna seasons, the last-placed team at this stage of the campaign has gone on to be relegated.

League table

3 September 2013 - 3 of 37 — Kenna table 3 September 2013 – week 3 of 37

Weekly scores

			This week
		Manager	Points	Goals
1	Piedmonte	Phil	37	1
2	Headless Chickens	John N	33	1
3	Dynamo Charlton	Alex	32	1
4	Pikey Scum	Jack	31	1
5	Sporting Lesbian	Ben M	28	0
6	Team Panda Rules OK	George	27	1
7	Northern Monkeys	Hugo	25	0
8	Rapids De Cullons CF	Jorge	24	1
9	Newington Reds	Dudley	24	0
10	Spartak Mogadishu	Abdi	23	1
11	Hairy Fadjeetas	Aiden	23	0
12	Lokomotiv Leeds	Ben S	23	0
13	FC Testiculadew	James N	21	0
14	Lurliners	Luke	20	1
15	Just put Carles	Carles	20	0
16	PSV Mornington	El Pons	19	0
17	Young Boys	Denney	19	0
18	Bala Rinas	Lewis	15	0
19	Judean Peoples Front	Sholto	13	0
20	KS West Green	Stix	13	0
21	Still Don’t Know Yet	Pete	10	0
22	St. Reatham FC	Mike	8	0
23	This is Sparta…Prague	Rich	7	0

		Points	Player
	Player of the week	11	Davies, B – SWA – DEF
		Club	Piedmonte