THE CORRIDORS of Kenna HQ have long echoed with reverence for five seconds of Mel Gibson in 1989, but the bubble has sadly burst.
A closing shutter door to the league’s underground executive car park prompted a YouTube search for a remembered gem from Lethal Weapon 2.
The film features two veteran homicide detectives with terrifically well-managed hair fighting the evil spectre of South African Apartheid, which takes the form of snappily-dressed diplomats with clipped accents, automatic weapons and equally high-maintainence bonces.
In one scene madcap martial arts expert Martin Riggs, played by Gibson, enters a restricted area at the South African consulate by rolling underneath a closing shutter door without breaking stride. A true masterclass.
Unable to find the extract posted on YouTube, the Kenna HQ LoveFilm account was pressed into service and a DVD of the film hired for that purpose.
Zeut alors! Upon closer examination it was found that what was previously thought to be an unbridled display of letter-jacketed panache turned out to be two camera shots neatly spliced together.
“A two-minute silence will be observed before every fixture this weekend,” read a missive from Kenna HQ.
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | FC Testicluadew | James N | 61 | 3 |
| 2 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 46 | 3 |
| 3 | Greendale Rockets | Stu | 42 | 2 |
| 4 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 40 | 2 |
| 5 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 38 | 2 |
| 6 | Judean Peoples’ Front | Sholto | 37 | 0 |
| 7 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 35 | 2 |
| 8 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 33 | 4 |
| 9 | Just put Carles | Carles | 32 | 1 |
| 10 | Vasco De Beauvoir | Stix | 28 | 1 |
| 11 | Piedmonte | Phil | 27 | 0 |
| 12 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 25 | 1 |
| 13 | Headless Chickens | John N | 25 | 0 |
| 14 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 25 | 0 |
| 15 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 23 | 1 |
| 16 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 23 | 1 |
| 17 | Woking | Mike | 21 | 2 |
| 18 | Wandsworth Window Lickers | Will | 18 | 1 |
| 19 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 16 | 0 |
| 20 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 13 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Suarez, L – LIV – STR | ||
| Club | Sporting Lesbian |
