THE 50P GAME has protested its innocence in one of the biggest Kenna transfer window cock ups of all time.
Towards the end of Friday’s event in the upstairs bar of The Roebuck, the Pikey Scum boss signed flash-in-the-pan-form striker Steven Fletcher for £30m, taking the total cost of his team over the allotted budget.
Under the Titus Bramble ruling the club were made to forfeit their most expensive player and prized asset Gareth Bale, who also cost £30m, to be replaced by Belgian no hoper Steve De Ridder.
The Scum manager was quick to find a scapegoat in the 50p game.
“If I hadn’t been made to drink a whole a pint of cider because some Herbert dropped a coin in it, I can categorically state that Gareth Bale would still be Scum,” said the Pikey boss afterwards from a park bench.
But the 50p game has struck back, claiming that the Pikey gaffer necked the cider five minutes after the Bale debacle.
“If he had half a pound of sense he’d see that it’s all his fault. He’s a spent force in the Kenna,” said the 50p game, a shadowy figure who’s never been seen in daylight but only turns up once the Judean Peoples’ Front manager is half cut.
The whole affair is widely being held as the biggest Bramble blunder since the Vasco De Beauvoir manager lost £40m Sergio Aguero at the pre-season auction in August and was left with the services of nightclub dust up’s Leroy Lita.
Gareth Bale went on to be bought by Bala Rinas for £26m. A video of the sale is the second highest result on a YouTube search of ‘Julian Assange Anders Breivik’.
Seasoned mariner
A goal from new signing Shola Ameobi was not enough to take away the bad taste left in the Spartak Mogadishu manager’s mouth after the transfer window.
“Yarrrr! Which yellow-bellied landlubber filled me bag with salt and pepper shakers? When I got back to me cabin me iPatch t’was covered with condiments! If I gets me hook on the scoundrel he’ll be keelhauled and that be certain!” threatened the briny Somali, who controversially did not wear a ‘Kick It Out’ T-shirt to the window.
Look out this Friday for the group stages draw of the Cannestan Combi Cup on Twitter @jeffkennaleague
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 43 | 3 |
| 2 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 33 | 1 |
| 3 | Headless Chickens | John N | 29 | 1 |
| 4 | Judean Peoples’ Front | Sholto | 29 | 0 |
| 5 | Vasco De Beauvoir | Stix | 28 | 2 |
| 6 | Woking | Mike | 28 | 1 |
| 7 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 26 | 1 |
| 8 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 25 | 1 |
| 9 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 24 | 1 |
| 10 | Piedmonte | Phil | 24 | 0 |
| 11 | Wandsworth Window Lickers | Will | 22 | 0 |
| 12 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 21 | 1 |
| 13 | Just put Carles | Carles | 19 | 2 |
| 14 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 18 | 1 |
| 15 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 18 | 1 |
| 16 | Greendale Rockets | Stu | 17 | 0 |
| 17 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 17 | 0 |
| 18 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 16 | 0 |
| 19 | FC Testicluadew | James N | 15 | 1 |
| 20 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 14 | 0 |
