A COLLECTIVE sigh of relief was heard on Friday in the vicinity of the relegation zone as Harry Redknapp took a new job.
The Bala Rinas, Woking and Vasco De Beauvoir managers were finding the maverick cockney’s ever-increasing punditry appearances uncomfortable viewing as he hinted at his future with every piece of analysis.
After seeing highlights of another awful performance from the last-placed club, Match of the Day’s Gary Lineker came straight out with it a week last Saturday, asking Redknapp if he fancied the job.
“As a recognised specialist of taking the reins of a struggling club just before the January transfer window and turning their fortunes around with a few chance signings that will financially drive them into the ground a couple of years after I’ve left, it would be inappropriate of me to comment on whether I’d take the job,” said Redknapp as a text from the Bala Rinas board with details of possible bonus payments for avoiding relegation silently buzzed in his jacket pocket.
“I happened to be in the De Beauvoir area this week, just driving around,” continued a deadpan Redknapp. “A TV reporter stopped me outside the ground and I did a quick interview through the car window like.
“He asked me if I’d seen the team’s latest defeat on the Roger Mellie, but I had to confess I hadn’t. I don’t get much chance to watch football because the daughter-in-law’s always round on the Nintendo Wii.
“Anyway, I’d rather watch her playing Just Dance 4 than this bunch of muppets.”
Canesten Combi Cup – latest scores
Ten matches have already been played in this week’s Cup group stage bumper fixture list. With another 10 to go only Headless Chickens have a clear advantage, although how their manager must rue selling Theo Walcott in the transfer window.
League table
Weekly scores
| Manager | Points | Goals | ||
| 1 | Greendale Rockets | Stu | 40 | 1 |
| 2 | Judean Peoples’ Front | Sholto | 37 | 0 |
| 3 | Spartak Mogadishu | Abdi | 34 | 2 |
| 4 | Headless Chickens | John N | 33 | 1 |
| 5 | Newington Reds | Dudley | 31 | 2 |
| 6 | FC Testicluadew | James N | 31 | 1 |
| 7 | Bala Rinas | Lewis | 30 | 1 |
| 8 | Sporting Lesbian | Ben M | 26 | 1 |
| 9 | Piedmonte | Phil | 25 | 0 |
| 10 | Hairy Fadjeetas | Aiden | 23 | 2 |
| 11 | Woking | Mike | 22 | 1 |
| 12 | Just put Carles | Carles | 21 | 0 |
| 13 | Still Don’t Know Yet | Pete | 21 | 0 |
| 14 | Pikey Scum | Jack | 19 | 0 |
| 15 | Wandsworth Window Lickers | Will | 19 | 0 |
| 16 | PSV Mornington | El Pons | 16 | 0 |
| 17 | Dynamo Charlton | Alex | 15 | 0 |
| 18 | Lokomotiv Leeds | Ben S | 14 | 0 |
| 19 | Vasco De Beauvoir | Stix | 14 | 0 |
| 20 | Northern Monkeys | Hugo | 13 | 0 |
| Points | Player | |||
| Player of the week | 17 | Gomez, J – WIG – MID | ||
| Club | Unsigned |
